Indeed, each of us has listened to our intuition at least once. Quiet and wise, it always points us in the right direction, helps us find our purpose, reveals our secret most cherished desires, and makes us more sensitive and insightful. But making friends with the sixth sense can be challenging, especially if your ego constantly interferes in your internal dialogue, provoking conflicts. In this article, we will delve into the concept of psychoanalysis and explore how to hear the voice of intuition amid the constant noise of our own beliefs and limitations.
What is “ego”?
Ego is one of the central concepts in psychoanalytic theory introduced by Sigmund Freud while studying the structure of the human personality. He defined it as a part of the psychic apparatus responsible for analyzing our reality, the sense of one’s identity, and satisfying basic human needs: having sustenance, providing shelter, and ensuring a safe environment. In other words, the ego ensures our comfortable existence in the physical and social world.
American psychologist and psychiatrist Eric Berne, author of the bestseller “Games People Play,” believed that the ego should guide us through the dangers of the external world. In his concept of transactional analysis, he identified three ego states: Parent, Adult, and Child.
The internal ego state of the Parent takes control and cares for our personality, dictating rules of behaviour, social norms, prohibitions, and permissions. You can recognize the voice of the controlling Parent (“You can,” “You can’t,” “Remember”) and the caring Parent (“It’s okay,” “Try again,” “I’m with you”). We inherit this model from our family members and other authoritative figures, and whether our Parent’s voice is controlling or caring is related to their relationships with us during childhood.
Our Adult ego state is formed based on our own life experiences. The Adult thinks objectively and rationally, capable of making independent, reasonable decisions and rejecting externally imposed stereotypes. Your inner Adult will confidently say, “I can handle this.”
The ego state of the Child is experienced through emotions; it is highly susceptible to internal impulses. Spontaneity, zest for life, a spark of creativity, impulsiveness, stubbornness, capriciousness – all manifestations of our inner Child. In moments of joy, it will exclaim cheerfully, “How wonderful!” “I like this!” But during difficult times, the inner Child’s voice may sound plaintive, saying, “I’m struggling. Help me,” or “Leave me alone; I’m not doing that!”
Intuition and Your Inner Child
Eric Berne also made a significant contribution to studying the concept of intuition. In his work “On Intuition,” he defined it as the accumulation of information through “sensory contact with an object, and the acting person cannot explain to themselves and others the path through which they arrive at their conclusions.” He assigns the primary role in developing intuition to the inner Child – it is in this ego state that our sixth sense shines the brightest. Our inner Children are spontaneous and direct, guided by sudden “I want!” and ready to change their decisions on a whim – this is how intuitive knowledge expresses itself.
However, it’s worth remembering that the critical and dominant attitudes of our other two ego states, Parent and Adult, can suppress the trusting and vulnerable Child. In such cases, the Child becomes self-conscious, overly shy, and lacking in self-confidence, and in such a situation, we can no longer hear the voice of our intuition.
How do you tell if your inner Child is suppressed?
When it comes to the sixth sense, overly authoritative Parents and logically thinking Adults can suppress the intuitive impulses of the inner Child. You might be familiar with the feeling when you have an idea that instantly excites you, but suddenly, the dominant role models kick in and try to reason with you, dissuading you from the “crazy idea.”
To understand whether the Parent and Adult are suppressing your inner Child, answer the following questions:
- Do you feel down and apathetic for no apparent reason?
- Do you have a strong desire to start something new but constantly devise rational justifications not to pursue it?
- Do you sometimes refrain from social activities and professional opportunities due to fear of judgment or failure?
- Do you always worry about future events?
- Do you often criticize and blame yourself, compare yourself to others, and experience guilt?
- Do you hear phrases in your head like “it won’t work,” “it’s better not to start,” “you can’t,” “you won’t be able to,” or “I should”?
Positive answers to these questions indicate that your ego states of Parent and Adult are getting out of control. If you are also irritable, easily offended, prone to outbursts of anger, and overly anxious, then your cornered inner Child is in desperate rebellion.
Awakening Intuition and Caring for Your Inner Child
Remember that your inner Child needs acceptance, even if, at the moment, they are only expressing endless grievances and complaints about the world. When they feel protection and care from your “senior” ego states, they will open up the resource of intuitive knowledge for you. Free and happy, your inner Child will communicate your deep desires and aspirations.
Let go of the authoritarian attitudes of your controlling Parent and “switch” to the role of the nurturing Parent: give yourself more support and understanding. Let your Parent allow you to step outside your comfort zone and try something new and unusual – children love experiments. Your healthy role model of the inner Adult will help your Child confidently explore new facets of creativity and not fear failure.
A strong connection with the ego state of the inner Child is a direct pathway to developed intuition. You can also develop your intuitive abilities through specific exercises.
Exercises and Practices for Developing Your Sixth Sense
- Try to listen to your intuition when making everyday decisions. For example, instead of pondering questions like “Where should we go tonight?” or “What ice cream will you order?” simply say the first thing that comes to mind. When you entrust your intuition with decisions about such small tasks, it will help you with something more significant. Eric Berne himself used the technique of making quick and super-quick decisions in his exploration of intuition.
- Use freewriting. Freewriting helps “voice” your intuition on paper. Take a clean sheet of paper and a pen, and allow your sixth sense to express itself: focus and relax, ask a burning question, and write down absolutely everything that comes to your mind – your intuition will write a guide for you.
Don’t underestimate the potential of your sixth sense: turning to intuition can be a fascinating journey for yourself. Get to know your inner Child to strengthen your intuitive skills. Be respectful of the other two ego states – Parent and Adult, but don’t let them take control over your mind and self-doubt. Instead, calm down, take a deep breath, and listen to your inner voice.
